From the Mail Bag

Dear Zombies & Dogs,

How do you sleep at night? What’s wrong with you? Why are you such a monster?!? I hope your mutant land shark eats you when you sleep! God bless you.

Love,

A disgruntled Christian Foamer

P.S

You are going to Hell

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Dear Disgruntled Christian Foamer,

First off, I want to thank you for being concerned about my sleeping, but I can assure you that I sleep really well.

I hate to break it to you but there is nothing wrong with me- unless you somehow know about my current sunburn?  Although, I am worried this cut on my foot but I’m sure with some TLC it will be fine in a few days.

Now, I’m only a monster one night out of the year- yep! You guessed it- Halloween! Last year I was a witch so I’m not sure if I will go the monster route this year. Do you have any suggestions?

Currently my “mutant land shark” is sorting through his kibble and bits. He really is a picky eater and I’m 100% sure I’m not on his desired list of meals.

God blesses us all in one way shape or form, I mean, I bet you are “gifted” in some fashion. I hear you can fill your local bar with some greeeeeat techno from like… 1999.

Thanks for writing!

Sincerely,

Zombies & Dogs

P.S

From what I hear- you can be a total Douchbag and a born again Christian at the same time- so I think I’ll be fine.

One thought on “From the Mail Bag

  1. Hey… Can you remind me which part of the bible says Jesus says it’s cool tI wish your neighbor is eaten by dogs, as long as you bless them and damn them to hell?

    Liked by 1 person

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