editoral
The Heart Broken Poet
Poor Elton Camp. Mr. Camp the residential pit bull hating poet got his heart broke.
It seems that the loving Ninja of bat shit craziness nicknamed Lesely has ripped the sensitive heart out of Mr. Camps chest.
The Ninja of doom openly told Mr. Camp to shove his pit hating poems right up his arse. Mr. Camp is devastated. So devastated is Mr. Camp, he poured his broken heart into a loving poem for the heartless Ninja….
The Metamorphosis
There was no better advocate than Selley Sue
To fight dangerous dogs, she knew what to do
But too bad for her, as if by diffusion
Their traits entered her, to bring confusion
At innocent folks, she’d bark and growl
Unless they’d cow tow, she’d then howl
She began to love to start a fight
Believing only her views are right
Ultimately, she became filled with rudeness
Topped off with a big serving of crudeness
It happened so gradually, she didn’t realize
Until, one day, she got a horrible surprise
Looking into a mirror, she was taken aback
An ugly, vicious pit bull was looking back
By Elton Camp
It seems hell hath no fury like a scorned pit bull hating poet….
The Adventures of Billy
Meet Billy.
Billy is your garden variety grumpy pit bull hating BSL advocate. Poor Billy, he’s never happy unless he planning how to kill pit bulls.
One day, Billy decides to go for a walk.
Billy the grumpy BSL advocate can’t believe his eyes! How dare someone walk a mutant land shark in his neighborhood!
Billy dropped to his knees raging at his God! Alas, his God ignored Billy and possibly thought about smiting Billy..
Poor Billy. He has completely lost his freaking marbles. It would not be a far stretch to assume Billy pounded a few beers back before he left the house this morning…
It is possible the poor pit bull and owner have never seen so much stupidity radiate from one man…
Billy ran as fast as his drunk legs would let him… Which was not very fast….
Billy’s fingers flew over the keyboard as he relived the horrific events of the day! He sobbed in relief has he spews bullshit via facebook.
Poor Billy the drunken grumpy BSL Advocate, he might never leave his house again.
Inside the Ignorant Mind
Really though- It’s a question that BSL Advocates ask themselves daily. Deep down in their shriveled black hearts, in some weird perverse way- BSL advocates truly want what’s best for pit bull owners. However- what they think is best for us might not exactly be what we think is best for us… or what normal people think is best for anyone.
According to the recent Merritt Clifton report that he carefully pulled right out of his ass, AT LEAST 97% of all pit bull type/Mollosser breed owners are uneducated and had issues passing 3rd grade and the remaining 3% graduated from 8th grade but never enrolled in high school. Clifton came to this staggering statistic by having a really bad case of gas after eating some vegan chili.
Right?!! It’s totally not like they are asking for much at all! All BSL Advocates want from us darn uneducated trashy man whoring pit bull owners is:
- To kill our dogs
- To allow them to mock, stalk and harass our families
- To agree to a class action lawsuit that will sue every pit bull owner, rescue, AFF, BFF, Shelter, State, County for millions so they never ever have to work!
They just want 3 simple things… sheesh.
96% of all pit bull type dogs will eventually try to eat their pit bull owners. It’s like an epidemic. 96% of the pit bull dog population will be running amuck just eating every person they run across. Hell, they won’t stop at people- they will eat pillows, shoes, socks, stuffed animals, plastic toys, grass, flowers, trees, mail…..
JUST KILL THEM ALL! When all else fails…. JUST KILL THEM ALL, DAMN IT! I mean, sometimes you just have to go with tough love, right?!
Just stab it! Go ahead and arm up and stalk through your apartment complex arguing with people at gun point- it’s totally rational to threaten pit bull owners with violence because you are doing it out of LOVE. Just never forget- BSL Advocates want to kill our dogs after they eat us and our families because deep down they love us and care for our safety.
Life is just all about lessons, right?
