It has been 1826.25 days since my “pit bull type dog” has gone pit. 1826.25 days since my “pit bull type dog” has morphed into the infamous land shark that lurks the concrete ocean. I’m not sure what is going on with him, but in 1826.25 days that he has been alive, my mutant land shark has failed at evolving into the hideous beast that Dogsbite.org swears to me would have happened in at least the 2nd year of his life.
2011 was the year our “pit bull type” dog graced our door steps. Little did I know, that according to Dogsbite.org, 2011 was the year that the world was going to end all because we had a “pit bull” puppy entering our small household. While our “pit bull” puppy did not go all “pit” on anyone that year, some pretty epic things did happen that had absolutely nothing to do with pit bulls.
- Burma’s Move Towards Democratization
- Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was shot along with twelve others while making a public appearance in Tucson
- On March 11th an underwater earthquake with a magnitude of 9.0 hits off the coast of Japan, causing a tsunami that hit the Iwate prefecture with waves over 130 feet high.
- On May 2nd, it was announced by US President Obama that Osama Bin Laden had been found and killed by US Navy Seals in Abbottabad, Pakistan
- The US Military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy that banned open homosexuality in the armed forces was officially repealed on September 20th.
( I can’t decide.. does he look he’s about to gnaw on my leg or is he wanting the plate of treats I have cut up for him?)
In 2012, our big eared bat dog- the every growing “pit bull type” puppy had failed to eat me, my husband, our other pets and any other family member. Surely, he was just a late bloomer? Well, according to Dogsbite.org, our black landshark just hadn’t reached the magic age yet. The transformation from family dog to man eating dinosaur was scheduled for early 2013, of course my family was on high alert! When would this monstrous morph happen? While we were sleeping? Going grocery shopping? At work? 2012 was a rough year, sleeping with one eye opened and bread sticks placed everywhere just in case we had to stop the Dogsbite.org guarantee of the murderous change in our undog.
(Excuse me.. but I muuuustache you a question..)
2013 rolled in with a bang! This was the year, Dogsbite.org confirmed, year 2 was the magical number. According to Dogsbite.org founder, year 2 was when pit bulls go from loving pooches into murderous man eating land sharks bent on earths destruction. So we waited…..
Queen Elizabeth II had her Diamond Jubilee, mass shooting at Aurora Colorado movie theatre, Curiosity Rover landed on Mars, the first Marvel’s The Avenger movie released, Hurricane Sandy rolled in and caused mass destruction… yet, my demon dog from the bowels of Satan slept through it all. What the heck? How could this have happened? I mean, according to Dogsbite.org and BSL advocates, 96% of pit bull types have killed people, pillows and animals and the remaining 4% just killed stuff and stayed unreported.
(Jebus… they look like twins!!)
2014….you know, maybe our “pit bull type dog” just wasn’t a mauling sort of beast, maybe his weapon was gas. Maybe, just maybe he was trying to kill us with his silent and deadly gas passing? It came close a few times… 2015 came and went and it seems as if he’s just gotten lazier, like the direct opposite of what Dogsbite.org swore to be me that he would become. It’s June 10, 2016 and as I peek under my desk watching my land shark sleep curled up on a over stuffed animal, I realize just how awesome my land shark is and how millions of families feel the same way about their gas passing pooches.
(Gee…. I wonder who the grumpy one in the house is?)
At the end of the day, my dog, like millions of others like him are just that- dogs. I wish I could say he’s just like every other dog, but that would be a lie, because he isn’t. No dog is just like the next dog and every dog should be judged as a individual dog. Isn’t that what dog shows do? You could have 5 of the same breed standing in the same line and only one will be placed #1?
So yes, my dog comes before any BSL/Dogsbite.org member roaming the internet. Why is that? Because my dog is innocent, just like millions of other. My children deserve to chose the breed of dog they want when they become responsible adults. They deserve to do the research, reflect on their own personal experience and make responsible decisions themselves and I refuse to let BSL advocates who can’t even maintain their own lives make that choice for my children, our pets and their future pets.